Guess what happened this week...
This is Sylvie's new Kai-Lan back pack and lunch box. That's right, our little girl is slowly starting day care this week. We feel very lucky that a friend we have known for many years has her own licensed day care in her home. While I'm not going back to work until the end of May, we wanted to have a slow start to day care and gradually increase her time over the next few months. I also have to write my thesis, and would like to have the first draft completed before returning to work, so I will use this time hanging out at the library typing away. For some unknown reason I'm finding it a little hard to use my "free" time to write at home - I don't know how I will survive without having an afternoon nap when I go back to work. I think I might have to schedule a snooze in for myself and my class!
We had an orientation on Monday where we both hung out and played together with all the toys and other children. Sylvie loves the toy kitchen and all the new toys. Then on Tuesday Sylvie went for a shortened day. I dropped her off and stayed for a bit, but she went off right away to play with the toy kitchen again. I told her good bye and said I would be back after nap time, and she just waved and said "bye-bye".
Apparently Sylvie did very well. Mama on the other hand was at a bit of a loss all day. I'm so used to having my little side kick beside me (or underfoot) I didn't quite know what to do. I met Cory at noon and we went to a downtown restaurant for lunch together. Out of all the restaurants and pub selections we somehow chose Kelly O'Bryan's - a family restaurant. Sigh... I know we didn't make the most wisest use of our alone time when I saw crayons at the front door waiting to be handed out. Next time we will be visiting an establishment we might not otherwise have the chance to with Sylvie.
After lunch I went back to the library for another bit of time and then went to pick Sylvie up. She was happy to see me and wanted to be picked up right away even though she was eating her snack... yey - I'm more popular than cheese! I knew it would happen one day ;)
So Sylvie is now tucked into bed and I'm pondering...worrying...contemplating...our day apart. See, as an adoptive mother I have a few more concerns than the average mom. Sylvie was "great" today. I wish I could just go with it and be good, but instead... I worry.
She didn't cry when I left today (or when I leave her with Daddy either). Does this mean she isn't securely attached to me? Is she just too used to having people come and go to meet her needs? Or, is she securely attached to me and she knows Mama WILL come back, like the other times when I leave her with Daddy? Needless to day, when we got home there was lots of cuddling, hugging and playing together in the bath.
So those are my thoughts after this new "first" for Sylvie and I. I think I will finish my glass of wine, have bubble bath and try to go to sleep leaving my worries for another day.