And we're off...

Well, it is 08:00 and Mary and Joyanne just headed back into the operating room. We had quite the entourage this morning since we arrived at the hospital... Met with everyone so far... Admitting, Pre-op nurses, op nurses, anesthesiologist, doctor number 1, doctor number 2... The list goes on. Suffice to say, Mary is the star of the show today and she seems to be doing fairly well... A little cautious perhaps, but doing ok. I expect to see Joyanne in a few so we will have more news soon. Until then...

C & J & M (S is at home getting spoiled by grandma and grandpa :)...)

Surgery Redux....

So, we are at the eve of surgery number three for our dear Mary. She will be heading into the operating room first thing tomorrow morning for the next crack at her lip surgery. We have met with doctors, nurses, anesthesiologists and the like and all have our munchkin's best interests at heart... So we just have to get up bright and early and head to the hospital and prepare for another bought of unknown. I have no doubt in anyone that we will come across in the upcoming days, but it will still be hard on everyone, especially Mary. Trying to make the best of what will happen is foremost in my mind, but so is the past few months that I have seen her heal and finally "recuperate" from her surgeries past... And here we go again... With that, we will try and keep everyone in the loop on how things progress. Wish us luck and we will keep your thoughts, wishes, prayers, and the like all in hand to get Mary through the next weeks. Stay tuned...

C & J & S & M

Six Months together...

Wow…has it really been only six months since we became a family of four?

Mary is doing so well and we are constantly amazed by our youngest daughter. She has grown like a weed and now at almost two and a half, looks like a little girl much more than a baby girl… sniff sniff! Mary has gained 8 pounds since coming home and is now starting to sprout up as well. When we look back over the past six months we are in awe of how far she has come in such a short period of time.

Cleft Surgeries

Mary had two surgeries for her cleft lip, both in late January. The first was a planned procedure to close her bilateral cleft lip and to position her protruding pre-maxilla back into her mouth. Her first surgery went well and we were amazed at the change in Mary’s face. She was a trooper after the surgery and we were released to go back home late the following day.

Unfortunately a couple of days later her lip began to open again and we returned quickly to the hospital. The surgeons tried to reattach her lip and discovered she had an infection in her surgery site, as well there were complications removing her breathing tube after surgery. After a late night flight in the air ambulance to the provincial Children’s hospital, and subsequent successful removal of her breathing tube the following afternoon we never want to experience another stay in the Paediatric Intensive Care Unit again. After all this, even with the administration of antibiotics, the already present infection resulted in Mary’s lip opening up completely over the next week. This was very disheartening and we felt awful for Mary having to go through two surgeries and still not have a successful result. After a three month healing period, Mary is scheduled to have her lip re-repaired again on May 18, and we are hopeful that this will be last surgery required this year.    

Communication/Language

Mary has a large single word vocabulary, we stopped counting her words after she hit about 75 words. Most of her words are nouns, so we have been focusing on adding verbs and adjectives to her repertoire, which our Speech Language Pathologist has advised to help develop Mary’s move toward 2-3 word sentences. So far she has a few 2 word sentences that she uses and she is so pleased with herself when we respond positively to her attempts.

As Mary’s lip is still separated there are many letter sounds she is unable to reproduce (ie. p, b, w), but she can clearly enunciate all the vowel sounds so we are able to understand her wants and needs most of the time.

 It is funny, but as we have been encouraging Mary to use her words to express her wishes, instead of relying solely on body language/actions (believe me, if you need a charades partner you want her on your team – she is a ringer) Sylvie has gotten annoyed with Cory and I. Sylvie will get exasperated and say sternly, “Mama, Mary wants more milk” and look at us like we are complete morons who are unable to get what her younger sister is clearly demonstrating with her pointing and whining. 

Food Security

By far the biggest issue we have had to help Mary with has been her anxiety around food. From the first days together on, Mary has shown us she is very concerned and preoccupied with food. Her appetite was simply insatiable, and she would eat a larger adult size portion of food at every meal as well as having snacks throughout the day.

We were unconcerned while in China, knowing the stressful transition she was undergoing and her not knowing we would provide food for her consistently. After arriving back in Canada this continued and she began to tantrum at every meal opportunity when she finished eating, wanting yet more food. Unfortunately offering her more food would not work as she would eat until her stomach was as hard as a rock, to the point of gagging but still insisting on more.  To say that meal time at our home was stressful was an extreme understatement, now imagine going through this three times a day for meals and twice for snacks. In response we continued to give her large portions of food at every meal and snack time and dished up food in the kitchen instead of having it on the dining room table. We wanted Mary to know there was always enough food available, and that there would be more food at the next meal time.

It was also challenging not being unable to prepare food for meal time in front of her, as she would cry and whine throughout the preparation. We feel that Mary was unaware that food took time to prepare, where in the orphanage they would be led to the eating room and food would instantly appear to be eaten.       

In the past month or two, Mary has made ENORMOUS strides in reducing her anxiety around food. Yes, she is still concerned with food and watches others carefully to ensure she has an equal or larger portion but she is less consumed by it. She still has not really developed any food preferences yet, and we know this will come with time when she is secure in knowing we will always provide for her. We were giddy with excitement a few weeks ago when she actually left some breakfast on her plate, after she left the table Cory and I took a picture just to document the occasion. It hasn’t really happened again, but this is a step in the right direction…slowly but surely.

Attachment

We feel that Mary is developing a secure foundation for attachment to both Cory and I, as well as to her sister. She turns to us to receive comfort, and continuously checks in with us when we are out with other people and their kids. She is sleeping much better at night time (it was simply awful for a month after surgery) and wakes every morning and after nap time with a smile on her face. Her eye contact is improving all the time and she will now snuggle deeply into our arms to cuddle and gaze a little longer into our eyes when we are singing to her each evening. She has a very outgoing personality and it does not take her long to warm up in new situations and she confidently jumps in.  

Gross Motor

One area that Mary has been working hard on is developing her gross motor skills. Mary was extremely bow legged which our pediatrician feels it was due to a Vitamin D deficiency, and very weak in her core and leg muscles. Our weekly gymnastics program and wanting to do everything her sister does, has helped her to learn to climb up on her bed, couch and chair, go from a slow walk to finally running, developing a two foot jump and last week I saw the beginnings of her skipping down the hall way. She is still working on climbing up stairs and ladders easily, as her leg muscles are getting stronger every day.  

We feel very grateful for the opportunity to love and cherish this beautiful girl. We can’t wait to see how her tenacity, confidence, kindness and yes… a little stubbornness will help her to overcome any obstacles in her path. We love you very much Mary Dang Yundan!     

Mother's Day

Is such a bittersweet day for me. I miss my own mom terribly and wish that somehow she could see her two newest granddaughters, they would have loved being spoiled by her.

I think of my daughters and my heart is so full with happiness and love for my girls, but at the same time sadness for their birthmoms. I wish there was a way for their birthmoms know how well they are both doing and to see how amazing and strong both girls are. Today we will take time to recognize and remember both Sylvie's and Mary's birthmothers.    

Easter Fun

The girls had a wonderful time with all the Easter celebrations. The girls had many opportunities to search for eggs over the past two weeks.

Early Practice Session at Grandpa Cliff and Grandma Diane's before Easter weekend...

Grandpa sure makes it hard (and prickly) to find these eggs!

On Good Friday we went to a local Easter Egg hunt. The weather was beautiful and families came out in droves from our community as well as towns close by. In past years the highest attendance was 650 kids, this time there were close to 1000 children. It was a little bit too busy for us, so we might rethink attending next year. 

Keeping busy playing in the dirt while waiting for the egg hunt to start...

 

Ready...Set....

...Go!

 By far, this was the most enjoyable time for each girl...

 Daddy's arms were getting sore by the end.

 Seasoned Pro's this past weekend at their Grandpa Roy and Grandma Marjorie's...

Hope you enjoyed your Easter weekend, we certainly did!

ACTION NEEDED: Please help bring these kids home from Ghana

This post was taken from the Rowan Family. I know the adoptive mom Jessie in this story personally, and am hoping that with some attention that this situation can be remedied quickly. ~Joyanne

 

ACTION NEEDED: 

Please help bring these kids home from Ghana!!

Folks – this is a friend of ours who has been waiting SINCE THE IMAGINNE ADOPTION BANKRUPTCY to bring home her kids. She is so desperate, she has finally decided to go public and she REALLY needs our help.

PLEASE WRITE A LETTER!!!

PLEASE REPOST THIS ON YOUR BLOGS!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

_______________________________________________

Calling all adoptive parents HELP THIS FAMILY BRING THEIR KIDS HOME FROM GHANA

April 19, 2011, Kelowna, BC: After 7 months living in Ghana, and 8 requests for additional information from the Canadian High Commission in Accra, the Soroka family’s only hope is that the two sides of their family will be united soon.

Jessica and Gregory Soroka were one of the unfortunate families caught by the Imagine Adoption agency bankruptcy. When the agency went bankrupt in July 2009, the Sorokas already had been matched with a referral of two young children from Ghana: Thelma and Gabriel. Jessica and Gregory learned that their adoption couldn’t be completed by the agency, and they were devastated.  Meanwhile, the Ghanaian orphanage where the children resided shut down, and the children were sent back to their biological parents.

The Sorokas decided that the children were too special to forget, so they signed on with Life’s Vision International, a US agency, to facilitate the adoption. In January 2010, their files arrived in Ghana. Thelma and Gabriel had been re-relinquished by their biological parents by this time, and were living in a foster home. The Department of Social Welfare one again matched Jessica and Gregory to Thelma and Gabriel. Jessica left her husband and then four year old son Tamire in Canada, and flew to Ghana to start a three month fostering period.

On April 26, 2010 in Accra, the children were placed in Jessica’s care by the Department of Social Welfare, and on July 6, 2010,  the Ghanaian court awarded the Sorokas a full adoption order for Thelma and Gabriel. Jessica spoke with her son in Canada over the phone, promising to return with the three and five year old Ghanaian children as soon as the Canadian High Commission allowed.

Little did Jessica realize that she would live for seven months in Ghana, apart from her Canadian family. Her son Tamire, born in Ethiopia and experiencing loss for the second time in his life, grieved for his mother’s return the whole time. Jessica developed a strong relationship with her new Ghanaian children, but, after seven months, the Sorokas could no longer afford to live on two continents. So now Jessica, Gregory and Tamire are waiting in Canada for the High Commission in Accra to allow their Ghanaian family members to come home. Thelma and Gabriel are being cared for by a nanny in Accra; they wonder if they will ever see their new mother again.

Why is this family waiting and torn apart?

THE HIGH COMMISSION IN ACCRA IS PURPOSEFULLY STALLING THE PERMANENT RESIDENT VISAS FOR THELMA AND GABRIEL SOROKA.

• HC Accra has asked for additional information on 8 occasions over the course of eight months. Some of this information is irrelevant to the legality of the adoption. Each time, the requests have been fulfilled, only to be followed with additional requests.
• HC Accra asked Jessica to appear for an interview in Accra on 5 day’s notice, shortly after she had returned to Canada after seven months in Ghana. They declined to interview her until that request, although she had visited HC Accra 6 times.
• Both the Department of Social Welfare and the Ghanaian courts have met with HC Accra attesting to the legitimacy and legality of the Soroka adoption.
• The last request for additional information was for the original copy of a document that HC Accra has held a copy of for months. This document does not relate to the legality of their adoption and was not used in any way for their adoption.

PLEASE SUPPORT THIS FAMILY’S UNIFICATION BY WRITING A LETTER TO THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE. If you can write a physical letter, it will be counted by the government and taken much more seriously than an email. IF you can’t print and mail a letter, please do email. Since we are in the middle of an election, please take care to send your letters in a timely fashion.

Most important, in order:
Neil Yeates, Deputy Minister of  Citizenship and Immigration
Jean Edmonds Building, South Tower, 20th Floor
365 Laurier Avenue West
Ottawa, Ontario  K1A 1L1
Telephone:613-954-3501 Fax:613-954-3509
Email: neil.yeates@cic.gc.ca

Claudette Deschênes — Assistant Deputy Minister, Operations
Ministry of  Citizenship and Immigration
Phone: 613-954-5335   FAX: 613-957-8887 Email Claudette.deschenes@cic.gc.ca

Rt. Honourable Stephen Harper, Prime Minister of Canada
Office of the Prime Minister
80 Wellington Street
Ottawa, ON K1A 0A2
Fax: 613-941-6900 Alternate Fax: 403-253-8203
E-mail: pm@pm.gc.ca

The Honourable Jason Kenney, Minister of Citizenship, Immigration and Multiculturalism
Phone: 613-954-1064 E-mail: Minister@cic.gc.ca Fax: 403-225-3504
1168 137 Ave SE, Calgary, AB, T2J 6T6 P. 403-225-3480 F. 403-225-3504
325 East Block, House of Commons, Ottawa, ON K1A 0A6 P. 613-992-2235 F. 613-992-1920

Your Own MP
Find out who they are here:
http://www2.parl.gc.ca/parlinfo/compilations/houseofcommons/memberbypostalcode.aspx?menu=hoc
THANK YOU!!!!

Mary's next surgery date...May 18th

We have been waiting...and waiting...and waiting... to hear when Mary's next surgery date would be. Her surgeons have given the go ahead to try to repair her cleft lip again, everything has healed nicely from the last surgeries. Today the hospital FINALLY called to inform us of her next surgery date - May 18th. 

While we are not looking forward to another surgery per se (ie. pain for Mary, sleepless nights due to nightmares from the anesthetic and trauma, sleeping away from home in the hospital) we want to help Mary speak clearer (there are several consonants she can not say until her lip is attached together: p, b. ) and drink using sippy cup or straw.

We also want to help Mary build her self confidence when out in public. When we are at home we usually don't have her wear the steri strips over her lip. She needed them immediately after her surgery for about six weeks to help hold her nostrils in place to heal fully. Since everything has healed, she doesn't technically need to wear them anymore. We have found however that when we are out shopping or playing that if she is wearing the medical tape, people usually just give her a quick glance and a small smile while going about their business. If she has the tape off, people (usually adults) stare, or ask questions, and continue to stare. If I catch their eyes, they usually look away and appear to be a bit embarrassed for being caught staring.

But Mary also notices their staring, and she often will lean into me if she is in the shopping cart, or press herself into my leg is she is walking. It reminds me of when we were in China and she would do the same thing when people would come right up and look at her face and have conversations about her. I do think she is aware and it bothers her. So depending on where we are going, sometimes we put the tape on before leaving the house.

We think this lip surgery will be important in helping her build her self esteem.  We love her just the way she is, but recognize that this is not the way the world works. Here are a couple of before pictures of our little princess...

The week before her surgeries...

Six weeks after her two surgeries...

Ten weeks after surgery...

 Cheesey grin...

In order to prevent an infection again this time around (the suspected cause for the failed surgeries last time) Mary will be on IV antibiotics in the hospital immediately following her surgery. She will also have a longer stay, likely three days in the hospital instead of just over night like last time. We are happy to know that she will be on IV antibiotics but not looking forward to the extended hospital stay, as hospitals aren't necessarily the best place for toddlers to recover from surgery (ie. sleepless noisy nights, unfamiliar surroundings, disruption to routine). However, it is what the surgeons feel is best, so hopefully the time goes by quickly for Mary.